Tips on Preparing for Marriage
There are many things you can do now in preparation for your future marriage. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a serious relationship or not. If you start preparing early, the transition will be easier for you.
Here are five steps to get you started:
Review your habits.
Do you have habits that you think might annoy or hurt your future spouse? Maybe you like to leave your dirty laundry everywhere, or maybe you have problems managing your finances. If you’re not sure which habits you may have to change, ask your closest family members or friends to help you. Allow them to be candid though, not fearing that you will be offended. Improve your conflict resolution approach. Your single years are the best time to define your conflict resolution style and how you can improve it. Try to recall the last two or three conflicts you’ve had to deal with. How did you handle them? What do you think could you have done differently?
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Everybody has imperfections, including you, so learn to take yourself less seriously. Begin with those tiny little frustrations, like forgetting where you put your car keys or mispronouncing certain words over and over. Instead of berating yourself, half a good laugh about it and move on. Accepting yourself 100% is not only liberating but quite attractive too.
Look for opportunities to serve.
The strongest marriages are those made up of individuals who are ready to sacrifice for each other. During your single years, start cultivating a sense of servanthood. Search for ways to serve your church or local community. This could mean volunteering to babysit for single mom, driving an elderly neighbor to a friend’s house, or participating in your church’s outreach programs. When you start early with servanthood, it will become a natural part of you when you’re married.
Have a friend inventory.
Lastly, it’s important that you have a support system that helps you become a good better half to your future spouse. A quick friendship inventory will let you know if you have that kind of friends. You can start by answering a few questions. One, is marriage important to them? Two, do they treat people of the opposite gender with respect? Three, are they honest enough to tell you my flaws? They may not see themselves from this perspective. If you ask them to encourage you in specific areas of your life, they may be happy to oblige. Remember, choosing your friends is not a mistake. There’s no wrong in wanting to be with people who can help you shape a better life.